Beautiful Enough

As the time of my nose surgery gets closer I find myself with mixed emotions.

I'm really excited to get a new nose and have a face that I'm proud to take pics of and show off but at the same time I think... how much of myself will I need to change in order for people to think I am beautiful? I pride myself with having this mind set of not caring what others think of me but really there is a certain pint where what others think affects the way I look. I always say that the reason I change my hair or take care of my skin is because I care about what I look like, and I want myself to look good. And I would then say, I don't care if other people don't like my hairstyle. The main thing is that I like my hair style. If I don't like my hair, then there's a big problem, but the fact that someone else doesn't like is not going to make me change my hairstyle. I really don't care what others think, I care what I think!

Then I find myself thinking, I need to get some new clothes, and maybe try on those colored contacts that are so popular, I also really need to start working out for my overall health. These things are not bad things, but it just makes me question if I do it all, am I not being true to myself. Am I just wearing a beautiful mask because I actually feel that me without all that crap isn't beautiful enough for other people?